KINGDOM CONVERSATION CENTER
Church Conversation Guide

Before You Reach Out

Prepare thoughtfully before contacting a pastor, ministry leader, or church decision-maker. Strong Kingdom conversations begin long before the first email or meeting.

Preparation Is an Act of Service

Reaching out to a church should never begin with a generic sales message. Churches carry distinct missions, cultures, leadership structures, ministry priorities, and challenges.

Before introducing Formationly, take time to understand the church, pray for its leadership, and determine whether the resources may genuinely support the ministry God has already entrusted to them.

“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak.”

James 1:19

Begin with the Right Objective

Your first objective is not to convince the church to purchase Formationly. Your objective is to determine whether a meaningful conversation should take place.

A successful first outreach may simply result in a response, an introduction, permission to send the Discovery Experience, or a short conversation with the appropriate ministry leader.

Look for Signs of a Strong Fit

Formationly may be especially relevant to churches that demonstrate one or more of the following characteristics:

Active children or student ministries: The church is already investing in the discipleship of children, teenagers, or families.
Family discipleship emphasis: Church leadership encourages parents and caregivers to participate actively in spiritual formation at home.
Concern for cultural pressures: Leaders are addressing identity, digital influence, emotional health, biblical literacy, peer pressure, or competing worldviews.
Interest in engaging resources: The church values video, storytelling, technology, or other tools that connect biblical truth with everyday life.
Need for implementation support: Leaders want strong discipleship resources but may have limited staff, volunteers, preparation time, or curriculum-development capacity.

Research the Church

Spend several minutes learning about the church before reaching out. Your message should demonstrate that you understand something about the ministry.

  • Review the church website and mission statement.
  • Identify its children, youth, family, discipleship, or education ministries.
  • Look for current sermon series, ministry events, or family initiatives.
  • Determine whether the church serves children, teens, homeschool families, or Christian educators.
  • Note language that reveals the church’s priorities and ministry culture.
  • Identify the person most likely to evaluate Formationly.

Identify the Right Person

The senior pastor is not always the best first contact. Begin with the person most directly connected to the need Formationly may address.

Youth or Student Pastor: Often the best contact for teen discipleship, student engagement, and Formationly Teen.
Children’s Ministry Leader: A strong contact when discussing StoryFormation Kids or family discipleship resources.
Family Ministry Pastor: Relevant when Formationly may support both church programming and formation at home.
Executive Pastor: Often evaluates implementation, staffing, budget, organizational fit, and cross-ministry opportunities.
Senior Pastor: Appropriate when you already have a relationship, the church is smaller, or the pastor directly oversees ministry programming.

Prepare Your Personal Connection

Before reaching out, identify why you believe Formationly may be relevant to this specific church.

Avoid beginning with:
“I’m an affiliate for a program I think your church should purchase.”
A stronger approach sounds like:
“I noticed your church places a strong emphasis on student discipleship and equipping families. I’m connected with Formationly, a guided biblical formation system that may support some of the work your ministry is already doing. I’d be glad to share a brief experience so you can determine whether it may be relevant.”

Common Preparation Mistakes

  • Sending the same generic message to every church.
  • Contacting several leaders at the same church simultaneously.
  • Beginning with commissions, pricing, or a purchase request.
  • Assuming every church has the same ministry challenges.
  • Sending too many links or attachments in the first message.
  • Claiming Formationly will solve problems you have not discussed.
  • Failing to review the Discovery Experience before recommending it.
  • Following up so aggressively that the conversation feels pressured.

Pre-Outreach Readiness Check

☐  I have prayed for the church and its leadership.
☐  I understand something about the church’s mission and ministries.
☐  I have identified the most appropriate first contact.
☐  I can explain why Formationly may be relevant to this church.
☐  I have reviewed the current approved Formationly messaging.
☐  I know the single next step I want to offer.
Kingdom Wisdom

Serve the Church Before You Present the Solution

The goal is not to convince every church to adopt Formationly. The goal is to faithfully introduce the right churches to resources that may genuinely strengthen their work. Prepare carefully, listen humbly, and trust God with the outcome.

Next Conversation Resource

Understanding the Church’s Challenges

Continue to the next resource to learn how pastors and ministry leaders may think about student discipleship, family engagement, volunteer capacity, biblical literacy, and ministry implementation.

KINGDOM CONVERSATION CENTER
Church Conversation Guide

Understanding the Church’s Challenges

Strong conversations begin when partners understand the pressures pastors, ministry leaders, volunteers, parents, and families may already be carrying.

Listen Before You Prescribe

Churches do not need another person assuming what their ministry needs. They need partners who are willing to listen, learn, and understand their context before introducing a solution.

Formationly may address several common ministry challenges, but the conversation should always begin with the church’s priorities—not your presentation.

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”

Proverbs 15:22

The Church May Be Carrying More Than You Can See

A church may appear active and well-resourced while still facing significant challenges behind the scenes. Ministry leaders often balance spiritual care, volunteer management, family expectations, budget limitations, scheduling pressure, and the need to remain relevant without compromising biblical truth.

Your role is not to diagnose the church from the outside. Your role is to recognize common pressure points and ask thoughtful questions that help leaders describe their own reality.

Common Ministry Challenges

Student disengagement: Leaders may struggle to keep children and teens attentive, involved, and connected to biblical teaching.
Competing cultural voices: Young people are influenced by social media, peer pressure, entertainment, algorithms, and messages that may conflict with biblical truth.
Parent engagement: Churches may want parents to take a stronger role in discipleship but lack tools that are easy to use at home.
Volunteer limitations: Ministry teams may rely on volunteers who have limited preparation time, teaching experience, or confidence leading sensitive conversations.
Curriculum fatigue: Leaders may be frustrated by content that feels repetitive, outdated, overly academic, or disconnected from the real pressures young people face.
Limited staff capacity: Churches may have strong vision but insufficient staff, budget, or time to create high-quality formation resources internally.
Difficult conversations: Leaders may need better tools to address identity, grief, emotional pressure, digital influence, purpose, faith, and other sensitive topics.
Ministry continuity: Churches may want formation to continue beyond Sunday services, seasonal events, or short-term programs.

Think Like a Ministry Leader

Before presenting Formationly, consider the questions a pastor or ministry leader may be asking internally:

  • Will this help us disciple children and teens more effectively?
  • Will our volunteers be able to use it confidently?
  • Will parents understand and support it?
  • Does it align with our church’s theology and ministry culture?
  • How difficult will implementation be?
  • Will this create more work for our staff?
  • Can this fit within our existing programs and calendar?
  • Is the investment proportional to the value?

Separate Symptoms from Root Needs

What a leader initially describes may be a symptom rather than the deeper issue. Listen carefully before deciding which aspect of Formationly is most relevant.

What You May Hear

“Our teens are not engaging with the curriculum.”
Possible deeper need:
The ministry may need more relevant storytelling, better discussion prompts, or stronger connections between biblical truth and real life.

What You May Hear

“Parents are not involved.”
Possible deeper need:
Parents may need simple, guided tools that make faith conversations feel manageable at home.

What You May Hear

“Our volunteers are overwhelmed.”
Possible deeper need:
The ministry may need clearer structure, ready-to-use resources, and less preparation burden.

Do Not Assume Every Challenge Is a Formationly Opportunity

Formationly is not the answer to every ministry challenge. Some churches may need staffing, pastoral care, volunteer recruitment, counseling support, budget assistance, or organizational change before a formation platform would be helpful.

Trust grows when partners are willing to say, “Formationly may not be the right fit for that specific need.” Honest discernment protects both the relationship and the mission.

What to Listen For

During early conversations, pay attention to statements that may reveal a strong-fit opportunity:

  • “We need better tools for family discipleship.”
  • “Our students need help connecting faith to real life.”
  • “Our volunteers need something easier to implement.”
  • “We want to engage parents beyond Sunday.”
  • “We are looking for content that feels current without compromising truth.”
  • “We want to create deeper conversations with our children or teens.”
  • “We need resources that can work across church and home.”

Challenge-Mapping Exercise

Before your next church conversation, write down brief answers to these questions:

What ministry challenge may this church be trying to solve?
What evidence supports that assumption?
What questions should I ask before presenting Formationly?
Which Formationly resource may be relevant if the need is confirmed?
What would make Formationly the wrong fit at this time?
Kingdom Wisdom

Understanding Creates Trust

Pastors and ministry leaders are more likely to trust a partner who understands their world than one who immediately presents a solution. Ask thoughtful questions, listen without interruption, and let the church describe what it needs.

Next Conversation Resource

Starting the Conversation

Continue to the next resource for practical examples of how to begin through email, phone, personal relationships, referrals, conferences, and ministry events.

Church Conversation Guide — Resource 3

Starting the Conversation

A strong church relationship rarely begins with a presentation. It begins with a thoughtful introduction, a relevant reason for reaching out, and a willingness to listen before asking for anything.

Executive Briefing

The first conversation is about permission, not persuasion.

Your initial outreach should not attempt to explain every Formationly feature, pricing option, partnership benefit, or ministry resource. Trying to communicate too much too early can make a sincere ministry conversation feel like a sales presentation.

Instead, your first objective is to establish relevance, trust, and permission to continue the conversation.

Help the ministry leader quickly understand who you are, why you contacted them specifically, and why the conversation may be worth a few minutes of their time.

1

Be personal

Show that you understand something specific about the church, ministry, community, or leader you are contacting.

2

Be concise

Respect the leader’s time. Give enough information to create interest, but not so much that the first message becomes overwhelming.

3

Be ministry-centered

Focus on their mission, families, students, and discipleship needs rather than commissions, products, or closing an opportunity.

Partner Reminder

The success of the first contact is not measured by whether a church immediately joins Formationly. Success means opening a respectful, relevant conversation and discovering whether there is a genuine opportunity to serve.

Five Conversation Pathways

Begin through the most natural door available.

Not every church conversation should begin the same way. Choose the approach that reflects the relationship, setting, and level of trust already present.

1
Preferred Pathway

Warm introductions through existing relationships

A trusted introduction from someone who already knows the pastor, church leader, or ministry team is often the strongest way to begin. The relationship creates context and lowers the natural uncertainty surrounding a new conversation.

  • Ask the mutual connection for permission before using their name.
  • Explain briefly why the church may be a relevant fit.
  • Request an introduction, not an endorsement or sales pitch.
  • Make it easy for the connector by providing a short message.
Sample request to a mutual contact

“I’ve been helping churches explore practical ways to support biblical formation for children, teens, and families. Because you know Pastor Williams and the ministry at Grace Community, would you feel comfortable introducing us? I would simply like to learn more about their family discipleship priorities and see whether Formationly might be useful.”

2
Relationship-Based

Referral introductions

A referral may come from a pastor, ministry leader, parent, partner, or church member who believes another church should learn about Formationly.

  • Reference the person who made the referral early.
  • Explain the connection without overstating their endorsement.
  • Keep the initial request brief and low-pressure.
3
Direct Outreach

Cold but personalized email outreach

Cold outreach can still feel thoughtful when it clearly reflects research, relevance, and respect for the recipient’s ministry.

  • Use the leader’s name whenever possible.
  • Mention something specific about the church or ministry.
  • State why you believe the conversation may be relevant.
  • Ask for a short conversation rather than sending a full presentation.
4
Voice Conversation

Phone conversation openings

A phone call should sound natural, respectful, and prepared. Avoid launching immediately into a detailed explanation of Formationly.

  • Confirm that it is a convenient time to speak.
  • Give a clear one-sentence reason for calling.
  • Ask a ministry-centered question quickly.
  • Respectfully schedule another time when needed.
5
In-Person Opportunity

Conference and ministry-event conversations

Conferences and ministry gatherings are valuable for beginning relationships, but they are rarely the right environment for a long presentation.

  • Lead with genuine interest in the person and their ministry.
  • Listen for shared priorities or relevant challenges.
  • Offer a brief explanation only when appropriate.
  • Request permission to follow up after the event.
Choose the pathway with the greatest trust.

A warm introduction is usually stronger than a cold email, and a personalized email is stronger than a generic message. Use the most relational and relevant pathway available rather than defaulting to the fastest one.

The First Message

Send enough to create interest, not enough to create overload.

The first message should help the ministry leader understand why you are reaching out and make it easy to decide whether a brief conversation is worthwhile.

What to Include

Keep the first message simple and relevant.

A thoughtful first message usually contains only a few essential elements.

  • A personal greeting using the leader’s name whenever possible.
  • A brief explanation of who you are and how you are connected to Formationly.
  • One specific reason you contacted this church or ministry.
  • A clear connection to children, teens, parents, or family discipleship.
  • A low-pressure request for a short introductory conversation.
  • A respectful closing that gives the leader room to respond when convenient.
What to Avoid

Do not turn the first message into a full presentation.

Too much information can make a relevant opportunity feel complicated, transactional, or difficult to evaluate.

  • A long explanation of every Formationly program or feature.
  • Multiple attachments, brochures, videos, and links in one message.
  • Detailed pricing, commissions, licensing terms, or enrollment instructions.
  • Claims that Formationly will solve every church challenge.
  • Artificial urgency, pressure language, or requests for immediate decisions.
  • Generic wording that could have been sent to hundreds of churches.

The Four-Part First Message Formula

Use this structure to keep outreach personal, concise, and ministry-centered.

1

Connection

Explain how you found the church, who referred you, or what drew your attention to its ministry.

2

Relevance

Identify one ministry priority or family discipleship need that may make the conversation useful.

3

Brief Context

Describe Formationly in one or two sentences without presenting the entire platform.

4

Simple Invitation

Ask for a short conversation to learn about the church’s needs and determine whether further discussion makes sense.

Sample first email

“Pastor Daniels, I recently learned about your church’s focus on strengthening families and equipping parents for discipleship at home. I work with Formationly, a guided biblical formation system designed to support churches, parents, children, and teens. I would appreciate the opportunity to learn more about your current family ministry priorities and briefly explore whether our resources may be relevant. Would you be open to a 15-minute introductory conversation sometime in the next two weeks?”

Sample Opening Scripts

Use these as conversation frameworks, not rigid scripts.

The wording should sound like you. Personalize each opening based on the leader, church, relationship, and ministry context.

Warm Introduction

When someone has introduced you

Begin by acknowledging the mutual connection, then quickly shift the focus toward the church’s ministry priorities.

Sample opening

“Pastor Reynolds, thank you for taking a few minutes to connect. Marcus Johnson suggested that I reach out because of your church’s emphasis on equipping families and discipling the next generation. I would love to learn more about what your ministry is currently prioritizing and share a little about why he thought Formationly might be relevant.”

Natural next question

“What are some of the biggest opportunities or challenges you are seeing right now among parents, children, and teens?”

Referral Outreach

When a church or ministry leader referred you

Be clear about the referral without implying that the person made a commitment or formal endorsement.

Sample opening

“Pastor Green, I recently spoke with Angela Carter about the work Formationly is doing to support biblical formation among children, teens, and families. She mentioned your church’s commitment to family discipleship and suggested that it might be worthwhile for us to connect. I would appreciate the opportunity to hear more about your ministry and determine whether a further conversation would be useful.”

Natural next question

“How is your church currently supporting parents as they disciple their children outside of Sunday services?”

Personalized Email

When there is no existing relationship

Cold outreach should still demonstrate research, relevance, and genuine respect for the ministry.

Sample opening

“Pastor Mitchell, I recently reviewed your church’s family ministry page and noticed your emphasis on helping parents build faith at home. I work with Formationly, a guided biblical formation system created to support churches, parents, children, and teens. I am not reaching out to send you a full presentation. I would simply value 15 minutes to learn more about your ministry priorities and see whether our work may be relevant.”

Recommended close

“Would a short introductory conversation sometime next week be convenient?”

Phone Conversation

When speaking by phone

Confirm that the timing is appropriate, state your reason for calling, and move quickly into a ministry-centered question.

Sample opening

“Pastor Lewis, this is Jordan Davis with Formationly. Is this an okay time for a very brief introduction? I am reaching out because your church appears to place a strong emphasis on children, youth, and family ministry. We help churches support biblical formation beyond the weekly service, and I wanted to learn whether that is an area your team is currently exploring.”

When the timing is not convenient

“I completely understand. Would there be a better day or time for a short 15-minute conversation?”

Conference or Ministry Event

When meeting a leader in person

Do not compete with the pace and distractions of the event. Begin a relationship, exchange context, and earn permission to follow up.

Sample opening

“It is great to meet you. Tell me a little about your church and the ministry area you lead. I work with Formationly, which helps churches and families strengthen biblical formation among children and teens, but I would first love to hear what your ministry is focused on right now.”

Recommended event close

“This sounds like a conversation worth continuing when we are not both moving through a conference. Would you be comfortable if I followed up next week?”

Do not memorize every word.

Preparation should make you more natural, not more robotic. Learn the purpose and structure of each opening, then speak in your own voice.

The ideal tone

“I am prepared, I respect your time, I care about your ministry, and I am here to discover whether Formationly can genuinely help.”

Recommended First Call to Action

Invite the next conversation, not the final decision.

The strongest first call to action is usually a short discovery conversation. It creates space to understand the ministry before introducing a full Formationly recommendation.

Recommended Approach

Ask for 15 minutes to listen and learn.

A short introductory meeting feels manageable to a busy pastor or ministry leader. It also keeps the first conversation focused on discovery rather than presentation.

During that conversation, your goal is to learn about the church’s priorities, current resources, family ministry challenges, and level of interest before deciding what should happen next.

Recommended wording

“Would you be open to a brief 15-minute conversation so I can learn more about your church’s family discipleship priorities and determine whether Formationly may be relevant?”

1

Schedule a discovery call

Use this when the leader is interested but needs a dedicated time to discuss ministry needs and priorities.

2

Send one relevant resource

Use this when the leader asks for context before meeting. Choose one video, overview, or resource that directly fits the conversation.

3

Ask for the right contact

When speaking with the wrong person, respectfully ask who oversees family, children, youth, discipleship, or ministry partnerships.

Avoid these first-call-to-action mistakes

Asking the church to enroll before understanding its needs.

Requesting a large leadership meeting during the first contact.

Sending several videos, pages, PDFs, and pricing links at once.

Pressuring the leader to make an immediate commitment.

Treating a polite response as proof that the church is ready.

Continuing to push after the leader communicates that the timing is not right.

Kingdom Wisdom

Open doors with faithfulness, not pressure.

Pray before you reach out. Be prepared, but remain present enough to listen. Your responsibility is not to force an outcome. Your responsibility is to serve the conversation with honesty, wisdom, and respect. Some conversations will lead to partnership. Others may simply create encouragement, insight, or a future relationship. Trust God with the outcome while representing Formationly with excellence.

Conversation Readiness Check

Prepare until you can sound natural, clear, and ministry-centered.

Before contacting a church leader, review the checklist below. Strong preparation should help you enter the conversation with confidence without making the interaction sound rehearsed.

Before You Reach Out

Starting-the-conversation checklist

Confirm that you can complete each statement before beginning the outreach.

  • I know the name and ministry role of the person I am contacting.
  • I understand at least one relevant priority, ministry emphasis, or challenge connected to this church.
  • I have selected the most relational outreach pathway available.
  • I can explain Formationly clearly in one or two sentences.
  • I know why this particular church may benefit from a conversation.
  • My first message is personal, concise, and free from unnecessary information.
  • I have one low-pressure call to action prepared.
  • I am prepared to listen without forcing Formationly into the conversation.
  • I am willing to accept that the church may not be ready or may not be the right fit.
  • I have prayed for wisdom, humility, and the opportunity to serve.

Ask yourself these four questions

Does this sound personal?

Could the message only apply to this church, or does it sound like generic mass outreach?

Does this sound manageable?

Is the request easy for a busy ministry leader to understand and consider?

Does this sound ministry-centered?

Is the focus on serving families and understanding the church rather than promoting a product?

Does this leave room for discernment?

Can the leader respond honestly without feeling pressured toward a predetermined outcome?

Resource 3 Complete

You are ready to begin the conversation.

You now have a practical framework for warm introductions, referrals, personalized outreach, phone openings, ministry-event conversations, first messages, natural scripts, and appropriate next steps. The next resource will help you move from introduction into meaningful discovery by asking questions that reveal the church’s actual needs, priorities, and readiness.